It's a common problem. Being on the wrong end of an unwanted breakup can feel overwhelmingly awful. The hopelessness, the despair... it's like your whole world is ending and no one can help you. The feelings of loss and rejection are often crushing, putting you into an instantly depressed state of mind.
Unfortunately, this is where most women start when they decide to get back an ex boyfriend. They begin with frantic uncertainty and desperation, rather than with a clear mind and a level head. And you know what else? This is exactly why so many of them fail to get back together with an ex.
Pulling Out of The Downward Spiral
Want your boyfriend back? Good, well then you'd better focus on that goal. This means no more tears, no more crying, and no more sobbing over the end of your relationship. What's done is done, and you need to accept and agree with the breakup if you want any chance of getting your boyfriend back. Why? Because quite simply, you have no other choice.
In learning how to get your boyfriend back you need to first make him want you again. Your ex won't want you if you're a complete wreck, and this is the main reason why you need to pull yourself together. The other reason? Because everything you do to reverse your breakup will require optimism and positivity. So the sooner you can get your head screwed back on correctly, the better.
Acting From a Position of Power
Immediately after the breakup, you were put in a very vulnerable position. Your boyfriend seized all the power over your relationship the moment he broke up with you, leaving you in a position of total weakness. Before you can act, you need to regain some of that power and get yourself on more equal footing. Make a move right now, while you're in a bad place, and everything you do will be doomed to failure.
This is where many women go wrong. Calling or contacting your ex immediately after the breakup is a terrible move, because he hasn't even had a chance to miss you yet. Trying to get him to change his mind is an even worse choice: your ex isn't going to magically come around. Chances are good he thought things through very carefully before breaking up with you, and is already prepared to counter whatever reason for staying together you might come up with.
Regaining position is a crucial step on the road to getting back together with your ex boyfriend. You need to maintain his respect and admiration if you want to date him again, and you can't do that while begging, pleading, calling, driving by his house, or otherwise overwhelming your exboyfriend with neediness or desperate behavior.
Letting Him Know You Agree With His Decision
Know what your ex did before breaking up with you? He sat down and decided to move on. He thought things through, considered a life without you, and decided that he'd rather be single than date you again. Immediately after that, he thought about what your reaction would be, and followed that up by preparing a speech or set of words in response to whatever reaction he thought you might have.
In other words, your ex was armed to the teeth when he came to break up with you. He was prepared for anything and everything you could throw at him, from "We're still good together" to "Give us another chance". He knew you'd try to save the relationship, so he prepared counter-moves for everything you might say. He played the breakup like a chess game, and your ex was three steps ahead of you.
But do you know what your ex wasn't prepared for? Acceptance or agreement. This is why nodding your head and agreeing with his decision to break things off is probably the most outrageous and great thing you can do when your boyfriend breaks up with you. By telling him "Yeah, sure, you're probably right... we should both do our own thing" you're going to send your boyfriend's jaw straight to the floor.
This makes your ex wonder who and what you have in mind other than him. Suddenly he's also on the receiving end of a breakup. Apparently you're not happy, and he had NO clue about this. Your boyfriend will struggle to figure out where he went wrong, and why you're so eager and willing to say goodbye to him.
This is EXACTLY when your ex boyfriend will want you back. He'll start doubting himself the moment he believes you're not dependent upon him, or your relationship, anymore.
Steps to Take if the Breakup Already Happened
Obviously, by the time you're reading this your breakup may have already happened. In this case you might think you missed your opportunity to agree with and accept the breakup... but if so, you're wrong.
There are some amazing detachment techniques you can demonstrate that will let your ex know exactly how you feel regarding the relationship and the possibility of getting him back. There are ways to remove yourself from the equation so quickly that it leaves a gaping hole in your ex boyfriend's life, causing him to think about and miss you in ways you never thought possible.
Want your ex back? Don't leave getting back together to chance. Winning your boyfriend's love and making him want you in his life again are both learnable skills, and the more knowledge you have the better your chances. You can't just pick up the phone and hope for the best.